i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
