is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
