don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
