There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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