Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
