I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
