Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
