Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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