Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
