shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
