not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize