You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
