i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
