my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
