Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
