I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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