Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
