So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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