Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
