East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
operation harelip BJ is a go
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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