I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
