Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
soo... how was my night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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