Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
