Porn is love you can see.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
