"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
