can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
