the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
