I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
