I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
