question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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