Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
