I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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