you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
