I looked at my own cervix.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
