In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
