I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
