The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
