normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
