There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
