Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
