I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
