why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
