Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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