Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
