i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
