theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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