Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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