absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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