I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize