People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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