at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
