I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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