I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
