; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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