Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He passed out mid-signature
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
