that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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