You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
