he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize