in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
