Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
