I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
